I've been really bad with my posts this year. It's time to get back on the wagon! I think my new years resolution has been to blog more before, this time I mean it. 2019 is going to be a lot different in many ways.
Its going to the year we finalising things to move on from our TTC journey. Last year I revisited by new Fertility Specialist/OB to let her know we have decided to end the journey... she almost looked relieved as she had been scratching her head on where to even start to plan a cycle for us. She agrees with me re the risk. It's so refreshing to have someone not pushing me towards a cycle they know has a low % of success and is high risk. We are now making a plan for more surgery potentially to sort my endo, potentially right ovary removal and more diagnostics. She would rather just place a Mirena as an easy fix but im fighting that one. I dont want one and neither does DH. I would rather have a hysterectomy but would only be possible if I had Adenomyosis. My latest Ultrasound doesnt show signs but I have many of the symptoms. Hysterectomies dont stop Endo. A real predicament at this stage.
This year has been especially bad for pregnancy announcements. Especially nearly all those friends my age or bit younger that I wondered if didnt have kids now are the going to? Could they? You never know others infertility struggles. It seems to be a taboo. Noone likes to admit they needed help like it makes it some kind of failure... I dont think I've 'failed'. There are far too many people in the world and far too many children in care. I have family to care for already. It's what was meant to happen. I will still tell myself that regardless of whether it's true or not. Only way it keeps it bearable.
Another painful Xmas done. A new year. Doc appt in few weeks. Our focus is different this year its really time to move on and start living properly and appreciating each other and the precious time with our families.
Another update to come soon.
