So we did it...eeek! Booked in for an info evening at the only other private Fertility Clinic here where we live. Its been nearly 1 year since our failed IMSI cycle, can't believe we have left it this long really, but lots has happened this past 6 months.
It was a nice evening put on by the clinic, snacks, drinks, no-one really spoke to each other which was very awkward, I knew there were probably a number of couples or ladies there from my FB group, think its about time I joined a support group to meet some of them really, as it would have been nice to chat to others that night, not really the way it works sometimes though.
After the presentation we were invited for a tour around the premises, very nice clinic indeed, so different from the last. This clinic was purpose built so the procedure rooms were massive, the after procedure waiting area was so open and light and the embryologist's lab was very nice, she explained what all the machines were and her 'day' as it is only her there. That was nice and we have never had the pleasure of finding out where our cells are cared for and our embryo's were conceived. The staff their seem really nice, most of which if not all have come from the other clinic in town.
I asked the embryologist on our tour if they offered IMSI as noticed they only had one ICSI microscope and straight away she could tell we were not 'first-timers'. So we stopped for a chat with her and one of the nurses as we filled out the forms re a consultation with them and free nurses visit offered for attending the evening.
We are a complicated case, there is no doubt about it. Even after just talking to us for a few minutes they were intrigued. We have at least 5 of the 'factors' on the infertility scale they talked about as part of the presentation and a huge file to boot so we headed off home to transfer that file over to them so they could have a read through. My OB/GYN that performed my Lap Surgery and removed my Endo has connections with the clinic so that is great also, I think we are going to be in really good hands, not that I wasn't at our previous clinic but think now we will be paying upwards of NZ$15,000 we get to choose. We are booked in for a consult on 1st September, AMH bloods done (please let those numbers still look ok) and DH is now mentally preparing for the possibility of a biopsy as a TESE is something that should have happened right from the start. Amazing its these guys first thought reading our file, Ive been saying it every cycle, wonder why we weren't listened to, was it because we were funded? shouldn't matter but it does.
This is it though, this consult matters the most. This is the one where I have asked them to tell us 'is it still possible?'. We are prepared to use a surrogate this time if that is even an option. I just dont want false hope anymore. I want to know what our future holds.
Now to find the money, really tempted to start a GoFundMe/GiveALittle page, dont want to be 'that couple' but realistically with reno's we desperately need, family members we care for, new car I need, it may be a while before we can try again. SUCKS! but such is life. DH and I are still telling ourselves it was 'meant to happen this way...there is a reason we are still childless as we have been able to help others,' I have to keep believing it otherwise it is all too much to bare. When is it our turn for something great to happen for us? Thats kind of what getting my house ready is about. I need something to go right. To feel some joy for a while. Its not that im not grateful for what I do have.
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