Not sure I've gone through this every cycle? It feels different this time. I'm really struggling. Maybe it's the hormone levels re-adjusting, PMS, or the reality that my life is going nowhere yet again.
I'm so very sad...and angry... at everyone and everything. I don't get like this normally, usually there is a brightside to look on. I just cant find one this time. Thought I'd treat myself to a new haircut this weekend, to feel better about myself. Big mistake! I came home and without thinking took to it with a pair of scissors as one side looked longer which and threw me into another angry "nothing ever goes right" spiral. Now I have to look at it every morning knowing I can't fix it, wanting to go back and change it, change everything.
Maybe I could of done something different this cycle? Maybe we didnt try hard enough?
It's one of those times in your life that make you question every choice you've ever made. We should of saved more money, tried earlier, been healthier, had a different job, been nicer people. Why do we deserve this?
I'm hoping this doesn't last. It's a beautiful day out there. I've got a million things to do, people to see and all I want to do is go back to bed. This isn't me.
Review next week with our RE. Still have to wait until October for counselling appointment. Sigh.
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