Facing a world without food

I have never felt better than what I have when I stopped eating altogether. I never wanted food to be the enemy but its starting to feel that way.

I was shocked to think all the time I have been trying to navigate my way through the fodmap diet and unaware of my fructose malabsorption and my IMO I was unknowingly contributing to my world of pain. 

Surviving only on E028s and Hydralytes Ive been very surprised at how great I feel, how much energy I have and I am sleeping better. I could of done this years ago. The biggest concern we had was maintaining weight but my regular consumption of plant-based chocolate which is my stress-eating go to, has meant that even thought it sets of my GERD its helped me to stay above 50 kgs even while my drinks ran out and I waited for my next dietician appointment.

My dietician is the most caring, compassionate and smart person I have ever met and even though I have seen a few, she is indeed my favourite. I be understood is everything. She understands my intense restriction, she understands my dear of eating and she understands why I need to keep things like chocolate and coffee in my life... as they can't take it all just yet. If my nodules get worse and my osephageous affected, it might be time, but not just yet.

We have decided to carry on as we are until we get more answers about the rest of my new discoveries. She upped my E028s to 3-4 a day and now im going to try little snacks of my soluble foods like eggs, rice, bananas etc. Only if I feel like eating solids otherwise Im solely on a liquid diet as I enjoy other drinks like Kombucha and Soda & Lime. I even found a 0% alcohol beer that didnt send me off the deep end... so if I want to go out, I can feel that little bit more normal.

Whilst it doesnt feel normal for the family, its working for me. I have to keep an eye on my kidney whilst I loose too many fluids and esophageous for now eating all my no-no foods but its sounding pretty good that Im not having to be tube fed, so I need to lay off the chocolate and coffee and find a better way of dealing with my stress in the meantime.