TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD19

Feeling much better today, think my body is finally getting used to the extra progestone and estrogen they are pumpimg me full of. DH wakes me up every morning to take my pills & pessaries then i go back to sleep for a few more hours. Ive ben waking in the night, which is unlike me, so good to get that extra sleep.

Feeling hungrier today which is great as didnt yesterday and started to lose a little bit of weight. Im concious of eating more and all my food groups as not taking vitamin supplements just yet. All ive been doing today is munching and seem to have a daily hankering for cheese and crackers.

Today am 6dpo (days past ovulation or retreival) or 3dp3dt ( days past transfer). Wee Emby1 will hopefully be between a Morula and Blastocyst at the moment, still few days off implantation so have been continuing to take it easy. They say to carry on normal daily activites but its just so hard not to do too much. Managed a few little jobs today, Im bloody exhausted and saving my energy for my trip out tomorrow.   

So only 3 days into my 2WW, only 9 days to go. I have a lot on come end of the week, im sure ill be kept busy enough and that time will fly by! 

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD17 - Embryo Transfer Day

This morning I was a lot more relaxed than I think I was on retreival day.  It was an early morning for us tho as I had to get up early to take my Thyroid meds, then my Progynova, then my pessaries then decided to go back to bed as was still only 7.30am. DH and I got ready to go and had a bit of time to spare, i feel alot calmer when I dont have to rush.

We made it to the clinic with heaps of time to spare but wasn't waiting long, which is good as my bladder was bursting, I overdid it like last time. He took us through to get changed into a gown, I wore my lucky kittie socks that I wore for my retreival, they always get a chuckle from the nurses. Nurse then took us down to the wee room that I had my trial-transfer in. Nurse went through few details about when we would be doing first pregnancy test, whats meds to carry on with, looks like the Progynova will be until 13 weeks possibly. Then we met Paula the Embryologist. She confirmed where our two Embys were at and that we had one ready to transfer today....Phew!

Meet Emby1. We were totally stoked to see it had made it to 8 cells this morning. Emby2 still hasnt made it to 8 yet so we will wait to see if it makes it to Blastocyst stage and if so it will get frozen after Tuesday next week.

After an incredibly quick procedure my RE asked the Embryogist to confirm the catheter was empty and it made it in... Thumbs up and we were done! Whole procedure only took about 15 minutes.

So that little clump of cells is now hopefully nestling its way into my uterus, its a bit unsettling getting straight up, getting dressed, going to the toilet and walking out of the clinic to the car but they say to resume normal activities. I think i might wait till tomorrow tho, DH going to take me for a wee walk in the park.

So im at this stage PUPO as the IVF girls say, pregnant until proven otherwise. I have officially entered the 2WW (2 week wait). My first pregnancy blood test is Wednesday 11.03.15 thats if my period doesnt turn up before then. I will definitely know either way by my 35 birthday. Lets hope I get an awesome birthday pressie this year.

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD15 - How many made it?

Woke up this morning feeling a lot less sore than yesterday. DH was getting ready for work while I got organised to start taking my pessaries and pills before the phone call from the clinic at 9.00am.

I had decided to lay in bed while waiting for the pessaries to do their thing so did my nails. Then got up to get moving around in the hopes my stomach cramps would start to subside. 

Phone rang at 9.15ish, private number, this is it people. Luckily I had prepared myself for any kind of result..... 2 eggs fertilised out of 12.

Not the result I was expecting ...sad face... but was prepared for a phone call to say none had fertilised so we are both happy with that. I had really hoped for more. "2 is better than none" the lady from clinic said on the phone and she was right. Miracles do happen. There was clearly an issue with either the sperm or the eggs as she said they had managed to find enough moving sperm to perform ICSI so they arent sure what the issue was, I'm sure we will get more info when we go for our review.

So, I'm doing a Day 3 Fresh Embryo Transfer on Saturday with the best of the 2 if it makes it that far and if the other makes it to day 5 they will freeze it hopefully? i've yet to find out.

I'm still trying to keep positive. Anything could happen from here. Taking it day-by-day. We knew we probably wouldn't be the ones that are successful first time round. 

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD14 - Egg Retrieval Day

Wednesday 25.02.15 - Today was the big day!

We arrived early and were waiting when they unlocked the doors this morning. The receptionist had seen my face so often the first words she said were "so are you guys ready?". That we were.

We filled in a form and waited for about 20 mins, which was great as gave us time to relax a bit before the nurse called me through.

The room we were taken to was tiny, the nurse, DH and I could only just fit. Here we would confirm my details, put my tag on, take my sleeping tablet and get dressed into my gown. I bought little socks to wear as one of the vloggers I watch on YouTube had suggested it. The Embryologist came through to run through the procedure with me, she was impressed I had done my homework so I omitted to tell her I had actually googled ridiculous amounts every night for weeks as I like to be 'prepared'. I couldn't believe how young she was, that's a very important job to have, she must have studied hard. The nurse came back to check that i was ready (sleeping tablet had kicked in) and put a hot water bottle on my hands ready for the cannula when we got down there. She had advised us there was loads of egg retrevials that morning so we were going to be shipped out as soon as we were ready.

Once DH got back from doing his bit they took us down to the procedure room. I'm must say by that time I was veeeery relaxed and DH could tell as I kept repeating myself. The RE that was performing my procedure wasnt my RE but I wasn't surprised. He had done my scan the other day and obviously knows what he's doing so I wasn't worried. The room as set up with a table for me to lay on, the ultrasound screen on one side, the tubes that would soon fill with the fluid from my follicles on the other side then a window where the embryologist sat ready to do her thing. DH was at my head beside me, couldn't even see him but once they had my cannula in, pumping me full of antibiotics and sedative and local I just lay my head on the side of the ultrasound screen and watched. I was quite fascinating watching the needle pierce the tiny follicles and drain them, as there were only 12 and he was only doing my left the procedure didn't take that long at all. I could hear snippets of conversation between everyone, the counting of my eggs 1...2...3...4...5, the nurse checking me make sure I was ok, the RE and I discussing NOT to remove my right ovary unless there was something wrong with it, I think they were all hopeful the would be a slight possibility we could retrieve from it however it was too far away for the needle to reach. Those follicles would eventually ovulate and release the eggs themselves over the next day into my abdomen which would later be absorbed.

Once the procedure was finished they sat me up, gave me a minute to adjust to being upright and then transferred me to a wheelchair. Meanwhile the Embryologist was still counting at that stage, think we were up to 10!

They wheeled me through to the recovery area  and transferred me into a lazy-boy with a hot water bottle. Was warm and cosy place to wait while I came around. A nurse came and gave me a injection in my stomach, don't recall what it was as I was half asleep and gave us a script for Progynova, which is a HPT drug to take as well as my Progesterone pessaries 3 times day. She went and heated me up a muffin and made me a camomile tea. The Embryologist came round to let us know that the final count was ...12 eggs! We were totally stoked with that result as that was an egg from each follicle! 

Once I was a little more awake a nurse came in to suggest when I felt able to start getting dressed and they would come and remove the cannula from my hand.

It was only an hour after the egg retrieval and we were ready to go home. We drove to fill our prescription and were not far from our house when my phone rang. It was a private number so guessed it may be the clinic. It was, the sample that DH had given earlier was not a good enough for ICSI, which is very strange as he followed the instructions of one days Abstinence as they had advised? She apologised for not letting us know before we left so we drove straight back in so he could give another one. It wasn't much as it wasn't long after the first one but we hoped it would be ok.

We got home for a very anxious wait to see if we got any more phone calls. DH went off to his Uni lecture and I ate (finally) and got settled on the couch. Once the local and the sleeping tablets wore off I was so sore I could hardly walk, bend over or go to the loo so decided I would be spending the rest of the day right there with a wheat bag across my tummy and drinking loads of water. Still no phonecalls by dinner time, I finally fell asleep on the same couch later that night watching a movie with DH, he woke me up about 10.30pm to go off to bed in the hopes I didn't wake up during the night with OHSS. Super anxious about the call from the clinic in the morning, it would take 18 hours to fertilise the eggs... really hoping it was good news.

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD12 - Scan

Follicle scan day... results:

Endometrium 10mm, approx 24 follicles, 12ish on left and 12ish on right. Left side ranging in sizes 19mm, 17mm, 17mm and lower. Right side the largest is 23mm! unbelievable that my non-reachable supposedly non-functioning ovary would perform the best? I kind of knew deep down that would be the case. I had my RE and two nurses for scan today and all confirmed it he must have found must the fluid filled tubular structure the last doctor found on CD8. After my trans-vaginal scan she found my right ovary with the trans-abdominal scan, it was where it normally is high in my abdomen bottom of my ribcage. No wonder i've been sore.

Egg collection confirmed, Wednesday 25.02.15.

So triggering tonight @ 8.30pm, waited for a call from the nurses at my Fertility Clinic for a time, they were waiting on my blood results. I have been given my trigger shot to bring home which they have now changed to BUSERELIN as they think I may be at risk now of OHSS. I have to have another blood test tomorrow after the shot so they can check my levels, i'm really hoping they are wrong as it could result in a 'freeze all' or a 'cancelled cycle'. We wont know probably until after egg collection as symptoms will start to show when the ovaries fill up with fluid after retrieval and I would start to get very crook and possibly end up in hospital. Its pretty dangerous if you have a severe case.

After scan today I was straight home and into PJ's for a big rest and lots of water. DH also home today as he is crook, off to the doctors in afternoon, shocking bloody timing on his part but again it is what it is. Hopefully he will just go to bed and sleep it off later. Later i was a bit restless and uncomfortable so i ended up getting dressed and going for a walk, that really helped so will do that tomorrow too. That and an early night, cant wait for my sleep ins!

Taking it day by day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD11

After a whopping 10 hours sleep im feeling slightly more human today. Woke up very sore and thirsty so it took me a while to get up but great not to have to rush today, skyped my brother, sister and nephews in my pjs, i think i was finally showered by midday.

DH has woken with sore throat and bit miserable today so thats unfortunate. Hoping he rests up and doesnt get worse as he has work, his university lectures start back tomorrow and we have a big week of tests and procedures. It's game time hopefully!

Did a short trip out to the library, popped in to see my Dad, had lunch out, so good to get out of the house for a bit, back home on couch now for hopefully a bit of reading and online shopping. Im starting to sort the budget for baby-stuff but its also hard as you dont want to buy anything, or get too ahead of yourself as its only going to make it harder if we are not successful, gotta have a plan tho right? Being organised helps me relax.

Follicle scan day tomorrow! Super excited to see what they've been up to since last Thursday, my wee bunches of grapes DH calls them, will be cool for him to be at scan tomorrow, I went to most of my Clomiphene scans on my own. 

Hopefully doing some of my last stim injections tonight and we can trigger soon. Find out tomorrow. I dont mind doing them, just be good to stop them, 10 puregon and 6 orgalutran done to date.

Will post again tomorrow with the results. Eeeeek! Nervous much?

TTC - ICSI cycle #1 - CD10

After days of telling everyone how great I was feeling it finally happened. I turned into a crazy person.

Last night before Day 8 stims I started to feel slightly agitated, i was home alone as DH had gone to deliver food to our nephew who had spent all his benny and was starving, he had messaged me looking for money. Was not in the mood to reply so DH sorted that out for me. Usually I would be very mothering and worried about him but was just 'not in the mood' that night!

I was physically and mentally exhausted by the time I had to do my injections at 9.30pm, Puregon is always easy as the have microfine needles, DH got home in time for my Orgalutran. For some reason tonight I wasnt paying much attention and decided 45 degree angle would be better than my usual 90 degrees, it took alot of force to get the needle in which hurt like a bitch and bled lots. DH put a plaster on it for me. Those needles are alot bigger, im surprised it didnt bruise, ive only had one bruise so far, I dont usually mind pushing the needles in slowly, obviusly the angle makes all the difference.

Sleep is not coming easily. I know Im tired and should go to bed early but the couch and TV are my friend and a welcome distraction. I should be getting more than my usual 6-7 hours but im preferring to sleep in, no alarms. Thank god I have next few weeks off, i think its really going to help.

Today im just a mess, my bowels are playing up, throbbing headaches kicked it, not hungry but know I have to eat, starting to feel bloated now so trying to drink as much water as poss, feeling like my ovaries are running out of room in there and I think I have finally gone mad. I cant think straight, make any decisions, want to get busy but dont have the energy, I want to feel organised so im starting giant to-do-list in my head for my time off, im snappy, irrational, mean and now very anxious about next-week.  DH explained to my mother-in-law this morning that my hormones were making me bitchy. Bless him. Somewhere in there is also excitement, positivity and joy at the prospect of a viable embryo and our chance finally to become its parents. 

But you know what? its all worth it! I warned those around me that the crazy was going to happen so they will just have to suffer through with me. I want it to work so bad that I'll make it through anything now, even if it doesnt.