Last night before Day 8 stims I started to feel slightly agitated, i was home alone as DH had gone to deliver food to our nephew who had spent all his benny and was starving, he had messaged me looking for money. Was not in the mood to reply so DH sorted that out for me. Usually I would be very mothering and worried about him but was just 'not in the mood' that night!
I was physically and mentally exhausted by the time I had to do my injections at 9.30pm, Puregon is always easy as the have microfine needles, DH got home in time for my Orgalutran. For some reason tonight I wasnt paying much attention and decided 45 degree angle would be better than my usual 90 degrees, it took alot of force to get the needle in which hurt like a bitch and bled lots. DH put a plaster on it for me. Those needles are alot bigger, im surprised it didnt bruise, ive only had one bruise so far, I dont usually mind pushing the needles in slowly, obviusly the angle makes all the difference.
Sleep is not coming easily. I know Im tired and should go to bed early but the couch and TV are my friend and a welcome distraction. I should be getting more than my usual 6-7 hours but im preferring to sleep in, no alarms. Thank god I have next few weeks off, i think its really going to help.
Today im just a mess, my bowels are playing up, throbbing headaches kicked it, not hungry but know I have to eat, starting to feel bloated now so trying to drink as much water as poss, feeling like my ovaries are running out of room in there and I think I have finally gone mad. I cant think straight, make any decisions, want to get busy but dont have the energy, I want to feel organised so im starting giant to-do-list in my head for my time off, im snappy, irrational, mean and now very anxious about next-week. DH explained to my mother-in-law this morning that my hormones were making me bitchy. Bless him. Somewhere in there is also excitement, positivity and joy at the prospect of a viable embryo and our chance finally to become its parents.
But you know what? its all worth it! I warned those around me that the crazy was going to happen so they will just have to suffer through with me. I want it to work so bad that I'll make it through anything now, even if it doesnt.
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